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Obituary Notice Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 71. He was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker and Captain Crunch. Long-time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas, his expiration date was up. Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

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